


Aurora

by niigoki



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, Violence, Wolf!AU, don't worry it'll be Gay, it will get better but it's going to take a while, this is really heavy and depressing for a good part of the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-11-29 06:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11435565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki
Summary: Snow, freezing forests, a clear sky, the midnight sun. One girl was born with nothing; one girl had everything taken away from her. The only thing that they have in common is the fact that neither of them asked for this.Or what happens when you fall in love with the only person who can possibly kill you.Lapidot Wolf!AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN. Hello friends, I'm once again writing a lapidot multi-chapter fic, and I hope you enjoy this one as well! Be warned however, this story deals with heavy themes such as depression, suicide attempts and angst. It's a fantasy story, with magical elements, so it'll be fun to explode this universe with you all! I'll post triggers at the beginning of each chapter, just to be safe. Enjoy this chapter!
> 
> [TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts.]

_There is a wolf in the woods_

_The villagers used to say_

_“The ones who go there at night_

_Are forever bound to stay.”_

_There is a wolf in the woods_

_Its fur is blue and thick_

_Its jaws so big and strong_

_It can easily munch a brick_

_“There is a wolf in the woods!”_

_The people used to cry_

_“Then I shall go to the woods.”_

_Said the girl who wants to die._

 

 

\---

 

Plates clinking, beer cups being filled, the loud voiced of men boasting through the wooden walls; the usual night at the tavern. The place was old, you see, but it was always full of people – maybe its age and the fact that it had been the first tavern in the village was what captivated everyone to this day. Now, it wasn’t a fancy place, not at all. It had a terrible smell (a combination of generations of vomit and piss), the wood on the floor, the ceiling, the walls and the balcony was barely hanging anymore – bugs had munched all the way to its core and the place was sure to fall apart at any second – and even the type of crowd it attracted was the worst.

The manliest of men in all the land always made a pitstop at Fryman’s Tavern.

“Ain’t no beast gonna lay a hand on me!” One big, buffy lad put his dirty boot on the table and yelled proudly. “Give me an axe and I’ll slay it right fuckin’ now!”

“Couldn’t even slay your girl last night, buddy!” Another tall guy responded, earning a round of laughs across the room.

“Whatcha say?! Come here and say it to my fists!” The first man tried to get down from the table without spilling his fourth beer, but as it was expected, he fell down as soon as his foot connected to the ground. The situation just made the tavern explode with more laughter, followed by a round of whistles and booing.

“He fell right down, just like he’s gonna fall in the wolf’s mouth I tell ya!”

“This one ain’t even worth as an appetizer! The beast will just walk past him.”

“Hell, he’ll probably walk past the beast and not even notice!”

More thunderous snickers and jabs followed deep into the night. It was pretty late, so at that point barely anyone knew what was happening anymore.

Well, one person, maybe.

“You shouldn’t be making fun of the beast,” A teenager, chubby and blonde, said out loud, making everyone turn their attention to him.

“Who let a kid in here?” Someone asked.

“That’s Ronaldo, you dumbass, the son of the owner of this place.” Another one replied.

“I’m serious!” Ronaldo put his hands on the table, frowning. “The wolf could easily tear all of us apart. None of you would be able to beat it in a fight. You shouldn’t be making fun of such a creature!”

“Ha! Let the monster try,” A bearded man snickered, getting up. “The moment it sets foot on this village again, it is dead meat.”

A chanting of _‘yeah!’_ followed his statement, but Ronaldo wasn’t convinced.

“Oh yeah? The wolf’s been terrorizing this village for years and no one’s done a thing to stop it. It has kidnapped women and children! Your families could be next, and yet here you are, drinking yourself to a stupor!”

This made some of the sober ones stop and reconsider, but it didn’t last more than a fleeting moment. Soon, the tall man from before walked towards Ronaldo and towered menacingly over him. “I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Fryman.”

“Yeah, what do you know?” Another joined in. “You think we haven’t taken measures to stop the wolf from entering the village? You’re just a stupid kid, don’t act like you know what’s best!”

“Ever since chief Kofi sat on the throne, the kidnappings have lessened considerably!”

“Then why haven’t they stopped entirely?” Ronaldo was visibly shaking, but his pursue of the truth was bigger than the fear of being punched in the face by every man in the room. “Why haven’t we been able to kill the beast yet?”

And that was a really, really good question. Because everyone at the tavern knew the answer, and yet, they were too drunk and ashamed to admit it. After all, with more than 100 warriors constantly scouting the village’s boarders, it should not be possible for people to keep disappearing like that. They knew that whenever a woman or child vanished, it was the wolf that had taken them away, because its characteristic navy blue fur would show up on their beds at night. But the windows were locked, and the husbands were awake on guard duty. So how?

The truth was, no one had ever seen the wolf.

They didn’t even _know_ if it was really a wolf.

It was actually a fairytale, passed down by generations. Mothers would tell their children to behave, or else the wolf would come and take them away, and husbands would tell their women to behave, or else they’d be killed by the same beast. And even though women and kids behaved, they still vanished without a trace. The only proof that it was a creature that had taken them, was that damned fur on their beds.

It was a curse that had been placed on that village ages ago, one that no one knew how to break.

“Shut up, fatso.” Was all the tall man replied, and everyone agreed that it was time to finish the conversation. Ronaldo just sighed as the men resumed their drinking and lively banter, as if nothing was wrong whatsoever.

He wanted to get to the bottom of things, but no one seemed to care enough to do anything. It had been that way for generations, even before his grandfather was born, and yet no one had the guts or brains to do some research. So, Ronaldo had taken this personal quest, and promised to find out the truth about what was truly happening in his village.

He just needed some support, but it was impossible to find anyone with more brains and less muscle in that place.

Powerless to keep arguing, Ronaldo got up and made his way upstairs, where his room was located.

Before reaching the steps, however, he bumped into someone.

“Sorry!” Looking down, he saw that it was his father’s helper, a tiny orphan boy who’d been taken in by the Frymans. “Oh, didn’t see you there, P.”

“It’s fine.” P. answered, his eyes downcast. “Excuse me.” He made his way through the crowd and grabbed empty bottles of beer where he could reach. He was too tiny, however, and men kept elbowing him in the face without even noticing. They didn’t apologize, of course – not that P. was expecting them to – so he did his task as fast as he could.

Ronaldo watched the scene disheartened. That boy was around his age, and yet he’d been through a lot more than any teenager should have. Despite Ronaldo’s efforts to try and talk to him about his discoveries, P. barely ate or spoke with anyone, his skinny body apparent through the thick coat he wore. He had deep bags under his eyes and red and purple marks all around his pale body. He worked around the place like a puppet.

P. was really a lifeless person.

With a sigh, Ronaldo finally turned around and walked upstairs to work on his theories about the wolf. He hoped P. got to rest soon.

 

 

\---

 

 

Peridot grew up on the streets. No mother, no father, no siblings or family she knew of. Surviving was an instinct, and she did it effortlessly. Stealing food was easy and sneaking into warm places in the endless winter was like second-nature. She sometimes got into trouble, but she had never been caught so far; the girl was just stupidly fast for someone so skinny. Being young had its perks, she thought.

It also helped with finding out gossips that she could trade for food. Information had power if you knew where to look in that village. That was what she’d been doing for a long time; an information broker, who didn’t ask for anything but meals, warm clothes, and a place to sleep once in a while. She was fairly good at the job, so her life had become a bit easier thanks to that.

And the conversations she came across were starting to get interesting.

“Have you heard about the Lazulis?”

“Aye, it was time someone killed that terrible sorceress. The Lazulis were truly the right choice for the job, being a family of Witch Hunters and all!”

“Our crops will grow considerably now, and no more curses will be placed upon harmless civilians. We should throw them a party!”

Peridot listened to everything hidden under the sewer as she chewed on a piece of stale bread, and smiled to herself. Apparently, this Lazuli family had killed a powerful sorceress; one that had been terrorizing the houses for a long time. It was brand new info, too, since the two individuals talking were part of the town’s press; they usually received their news way ahead of everyone else. That could be exchanged for some meat, at least.

When her two informants walked away, she jumped down the drain and walked casually with her hands on her pockets. What a jackpot.

She had a wonderful dinner filled with proteins that night.

And that was just how she lived on a daily basis. It was a bit lonely, knowing that her friends wanted nothing but news from her, but she didn’t mind. It kept her alive, so she kept doing it. Things were as good as they could get for a homeless street rat.

Until growing up, at least.

The sudden growth spur turned her life into a mess. Her height was hindering her movements, and hiding was now a chore instead of a casual activity; surviving like that was starting to weight on her. She still had her gossips, somehow, but they were a lot weaker than her usual loot, so the people who used to do business with her abandoned her for good.

That was the beginning of her downfall.

One day, she fell while running away from the owner of a fruit stand, and twisted her ankle. At the last minute, she managed to find a spot to hide and not get caught, but doing so only managed to worsen her condition. Two days later and her foot was nearly black.

That was when she decided to look for help; there was no way she could keep going like this. Maybe someone was willing to lend some medicine and a warm resting spot.

Yeah, right. Not in that village.

“Sorry, P. You know the drill: no good, no beds.”

“I can’t do business with a foot like this, man.” She argued. “Come on, just one night and I’ll scram.”

“If I let you in, I’ll have to let all the other beggars in. Can’t be doing that.”

And then there was a door shut to her face.

Everyone turned her away. No one wanted a stinky street-rat limping near them, she was only scaring the costumers away. At first, it was just mean comments and warnings, but with that she could deal with. Words had never stung, and they never would – that was what she thought at the time.

Until the day the fruit stand owner caught her on an empty street. He recognized her face and she knew she was doomed. Her heart jumped to her throat and she tried to run, only to be stopped by her bad ankle. The pain shot through her body unlike anything she’d ever felt before, and she screamed.

She thought she would never feel anything quite as painful.

The fruit stand owner proved her wrong.

Over and over again.

\--

She had lost track of time. Was it day? Night? Had it been a week? A year? She didn’t know, and she never would.

The man had locked her in a cell with water and crumbles of bread for longer than existence itself. At some point in the day he would come down and press down her hands in a really hard wooden contraption. She barely felt her fingers anymore, but somehow it still hurt like the plague. Then he would do the same thing with her feet, while asking her to apologize from stealing. She would say the words repeatedly, accomplishing nothing. When the man was satisfied, he would smile and spit on her.

This cycle repeated for days.

“May the wolf come and get ya.” He’d say.

He’d close the door and Peridot would lay down, emotionless. She had no idea what he was talking about, but anything that would come and take her away from that place sounded like a blessing.

“I wish it would.” She’d mutter until exhaustion caught up to her. She always prayed to never wake up.

And yet, she always did.

\---

One of these days, Peridot died. Or she thought she had.

There was a really bright light suddenly, and she had to squint her damaged eyes to see. A tall figure made its way to her lifeless body and crouched. It was a woman covered in a blue veil, and she looked stunning. She touched Peridot’s hands and feet, and like a miracle, they stopped hurting. The girl had never felt so relieved in her life. Her chest filled with an unknow emotion – was this what happiness was? She’d heard about the word, but never experienced it.

The figure’s touch was magical. It was like being cradled by someone’s arms and feeling… safe.

“Finally…” Peridot whispered, closing her eyes, ready to go.

“Not yet,” The woman’s voice was sultry and echoed through her mind like a spirit talking. “You still have an important mission, child.”

“What…?” The feeling of dread came back immediately. “N-no, I don’t. I’m ready to die.”

“Yes, you do.” A ghastly wind made its ways into Peridot’s lungs as the deity spoke, and the environment started to change. The pure, white light emanating from her surroundings turned deep blue, and everything seemed to stretch to infinity. “I will save your life. And in return, you will get my revenge.”

Peridot didn’t know what was happening. Revenge? She didn’t want anything to do with it. All she ever wanted was to close her eyes and stop existing, peacefully. Now even that was being denied to her. “I d-don’t want this. Please, just take me away!”

But she knew the deed was done when the woman bestowed a kiss on her forehead. All of her brain functions seemed to awaken at once and she felt a strong pain on her chest. The world broke into pieces and reconstructed itself at the same time, and then, it stopped.

When Peridot opened her eyes again, her body was completely fine. No injuries, no pain, no hunger. She was a brand-new person. Blinking twice, she tried to grasp her surroundings. She wasn’t in the cell anymore, but in some kind of room.

Looking down, she realized that her hands were tinted red, just like the bed in the middle of the place. Shifting her gaze to the person lying on top of it, she saw the fruit stand owner. His eyes were open, but he was not seeing. His mouth agape, like he was shocked, and yet there was no sound coming from him. No breathing, either.

Peridot moved her fingers and dropped the knife she was apparently holding unconsciously.

She had killed the man.

With a yell, she fell backwards and crawled all the way back until her back hit the opposite wall. She brought a hand to her heart and heaved, trying to calm down, but failing. Her eyes moved towards the knife she had dropped on the floor, and slowly Peridot moved towards it. With a careful hand, she grabbed the object and swallowed, shivering.

She had _killed a person_.

If the village’s guards didn’t catch her, someone would. There was no safe place for a murderer, and she knew that. She’d heard way too many gossips about what happened to killers, and all of them described things that were worse than what she’d been through in that cell.

Without seeing another choice, Peridot pointed the knife towards her own stomach, and hesitated. She counted to three and closed her eyes, thrusting the metal against herself.

A metallic noise hit her ears, but there wasn’t any pain. She looked down and saw the knife apparently unable to pierce her body. Peridot tried once again, and nothing. So, she brought the blade to her neck and sliced; and yet, it was like a papercut. No pain, not even a feeling. She did it once, twice, three times in different places of her body, but every time the blade would hit her and stop as if it had hit a metal wall.

She dropped the knife again.

“No…” Getting up, Peridot ran outside, looking for something. She found a discarded rope in an alley and quickly grabbed it, making a noose. Then she put the noose around her neck and jumped from a roof, expecting to get strangled on the way down.

Yet, nothing happened. She was hanging by her neck, but could still breathe normally like any person.

“No, no, no.” The rope broke and she fell on the ground, unharmed. Peridot ran around town for hours, looking for other ways to die, and failing every time. Jumping from the bridge only resulted in water all over her body. She tried to lay down on the snow then; maybe hypothermia could get her. The snow eventually dissolved, like her body was a heat-pack. She jumped in front of a carriage, and left the street without a scratch. Nothing was working.

Absolutely nothing was able to harm her anymore.

When the night came, she sat down on the sidewalk and buried her head on her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Whatever that woman in her dream did to her, she made it impossible for Peridot to die.

And that was the worst curse of all.

\---

Peridot lived for a long, long time.

The years went by, and she eventually learned more and more about her condition – no, _curse_ was a better name for what had happened.

She didn’t need to eat.

She didn’t need to drink much, either.

Her body had markings all over it from her suicide attempts, but she couldn’t feel any pain.

She had stopped growing, too; it was like she was stilled in time, unmoving and unchanging.

She remembered a few things about the gossips she’d heard and the woman from her dreams, and put a few things together. First, that blue-veiled woman was clearly a sorceress; maybe the one who had been killed by the Lazulis, who knew. She had mentioned something about revenge, but Peridot had no idea what she meant by it. How would making her immortal help her with that? It was pointless to think about it.

The worst of all was that the woman never appeared again, never gave her any explanation. That was the most frustrating thing, in a way. That bitch was responsible for her _life_ , and she had abandoned her. Peridot never asked for this. All she wanted to do was to finally rest after a miserable life with absolutely no accomplishments whatsoever, and even that was denied her. Now she wandered all alone in a place that didn’t need or want her.

Beggars were good for nothing.

She eventually learned about a wolf that had appeared in the woods and was kidnapping women and children from the village. It was a recent event, so people didn’t know much about what was going on. They knew it was a beast with blue fur, because the fur kept showing up in people’s houses after they disappeared; the villagers decided to call it a wolf because it was easier to recognize.

With not much to do, Peridot tried to go back to her life as an informant. Sometimes things worked out, sometimes they didn’t. She didn’t care much for what happened anymore.

She was immortal, and nothing hurt.

Her sense of self disappeared at some point, and she felt like a ghost. She still got tired and had to sleep, but other than that, her body was in top condition. Her mind – it was pretty much in pieces.

She heard more and more stories about the wolf; how it all had started a few days after the sorceress death, and how the first victim had been the daughter of Mr. Lazuli – she had disappeared without a trace, and soon enough other people started to follow. Peridot had to admit she was a bit curious, but there was not much she could do to attract this beast – if it was even real.

People – she learned as time went by – were good at creating monsters.

The seasons were still there, as always. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter. Nothing changed much, and the village didn’t change. She witnessed new technologies coming to town, kings rising and falling, new people being born, new people being kidnapped, old people dying. Marriages, parties at the town’s square, new sports, new celebrities, old celebrities. Birth, death, everything she couldn’t fathom anymore.

And the sorceress who had casted the spell on her was still as quiet as ever.

The wolf was immortal too, apparently, since the kidnappings were still happening after a hundred years. But by now, it was already part of the village’s identity.

“Hey, what did you do today?”

“Oh, the usual. Went to work, bought some supplies, didn’t get caught by the wolf. How’s your mother?”

Peridot snickered. She learned many things throughout her life, but the most important one was that the only reason people were so stupid was because they hadn’t lived enough to witness their mistakes being repeated over, and over again.

That sorceress was truly cruel to her; the crowd’s stupidity was the worst part of her immortality.

At some point, a fat man found her when she was sitting on a gutter. His name was Fryman, and he was the son of another Fryman she knew.

“Are you okay, boy?” He asked, truly concerned. She didn’t have the energy to correct him on her gender – not that it even mattered.

“Peachy.” Peridot replied, not even looking at him. The man scratched his beard and sighed.

“Say, how about a meal? I have a tavern, you see, and it’s freezing out here.”

Impressively, she was surprised. That was the first act of kindness from anyone in that village in a century. Of course she was suspicious, but decided to indulge this man; it’s not like she had anything better to do. If he tried to hurt her, she wouldn’t feel a thing anyway.

“…Okay.” Peridot replied after a while, and he smiled warmly at her. When they arrived at the tavern, she simply said ‘oh’, but didn’t elaborate. There was no way to explain to this man that she’d seen that place being built 70 years ago.

The soup was warm and delicious, despite her lack of hunger. Something set in the pit of her stomach, and for a second she was hopeful – maybe poison could kill her? But it was just a burp.

“Bless you!” Fryman laughed. Peridot honestly didn’t know how to formulate a smile, so she didn’t. The man talked to her about various things, and she vaguely replied. At some point, he asked her if she wouldn’t like to work at the tavern in exchange for a bed and regular meals. Peridot frowned, not understanding. Was he… offering her his home? That was the weirdest thing she’d ever seen.

“I had another son, you see…” Fryman explained. “He passed away from a disease a few months ago. The doctor wasn’t willing to help him, and when we finally got to another medic, it was too late. I promised I would try to make this village a better place for his sake.”

If Peridot could feel anything, she would say that his story was touching. She was about to deny his kindness, but then she looked into the man’s eyes.

They were so…

Genuine.

“…Maybe I can stay. For a bit.”

And there is where she remained.

 

 

\---

 

 

The tavern was finally empty after the night of heavy drinking and Peridot finished cleaning the last of the cups. Fryman walked out of the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs, sighing tiredly. “What a day! Or night, eh?”

He winked playfully towards Peridot, but she just shrugged. They stood in a comfortable silence after that and then she finally yawned. “I’ll go to sleep.”

“Alright, have a good night, kiddo.”

Walking upstairs, Peridot was about to open the door to her room when Ronaldo caught her arm suddenly. “P., you have to see this!”

She rolled her eyes, but went with him anyway; that kid wasn’t so bad, just a bit crazy, maybe. He had some interesting theories, and she could sympathize with wanting to know what was happening around them – her whole life was a mystery to her, and she’d been there for a goddamn century. Sometimes she wondered what kind of funny expressions Ronaldo would make if she told him the truth about being immortal. The boy would certainly freak.

“Okay, so remember that I was looking for manuscripts and old books about the legend of the wolf?” He cleared out his desk and put some other materials on top of it. “I tried to look for traces of stories from all the way back when the beast first appeared, but nothing was helpful. Until today!”

Ronaldo opened one of the books, a really old one with yellow pages and a worn out cover. “Look at this! It says that a hundred years ago, a sorceress was living in this village, plaguing the crops and causing mayhem wherever she went. That lasted for years, until a man from the Lazuli family finally stroke her down. I never heard about this family, so I asked around.”

Peridot blinked, actually interested in what he was saying. She remembered hearing a lot about the Lazulis, the sorceress, and the wolf back then, but never really tried to piece the three of them together. Maybe something about this whole scenario could explain her own curse.

“The Lazulis were a really powerful family, full of riches. They were famous for forging weapons that used rare materials to kill witches, sorceress and demons! That’s how they managed to murder the sorceress,” Ronaldo turned the page. “But that still doesn’t have any connection to the wolf.” Then he paused, dramatically. “…Or does it?”

Peridot frowned, her heart leaping a beat. “So? Does it?”

“Well, if these records are accurate, a few days after they killed the witch, the firstborn of the Lazulis disappeared. She was a teenage girl, close to our age at the time. And look at this,” He pointed to a crudely drawn picture on the page. “They found blue fur on her bed. Just like the ones we are still finding to this day! Coincidence? I don’t think so.”

Peridot sighed in frustration; she already knew all of that, she’d _lived it_. She wanted answers, she wanted to know why she was like this, who was that woman from her dream, what revenge she was talking about, why hadn’t she contacted Peridot ever again, _why can’t she die—_

But it was unfair to expect Ronaldo to have all of these answers.

“I’m going to bed,” Peridot finally spoke up, too tired to think anymore.

“N-no, wait! I haven’t even told you the part where I think I figured out how to kill the wolf!”

“Goodnight, Ronaldo.”

“But don’t you want to know how this book says that only a cursed creature can kill another cursed being?”

Peridot stopped on her tracks, frozen solid. She turned around, and slowly walked back, her eyes open wide. “…What did you say?”

“It’s right here!” He pointed to another page. “It says that _‘only a creature cursed by the same sorceress can kill another cursed being’_. The wolf is clearly a cursed creature, since it’s been around for a hundred years. Also, blue fur? No average wolf has blue—”

Peridot grabbed the book from Ronaldo’s hands and scanned the contents as quickly as her untrained eyes allowed her. After reading the whole paragraph, she dropped it on the floor and stared at the wall for a moment, ignoring Ronaldo’s protests of ‘hey, careful, this book is rare!’.

The gears in her head started to turn, and ever so slowly a macabre smile made its way to her lips.

_Could it be…?_

Without another word, she ran out of the room, downstairs, and away from the tavern. As she ran, her lungs burned, a nice sensation for her numbed body. There were so many things going through her mind at that point, but the one thing she kept repeating in a loop was the last verse of the famous poem dedicated to the wolf.

 

_“There is a wolf in the woods!”_

_The people used to cry_

_“Then I shall go to the woods.”_

_Said the girl who wants to die._

 

\---

It was quite interesting to notice that Peridot never even tried to go past the village’s borders even after a century. The main reason was because there was absolutely nothing on the other side but miles and miles of a dense, freezing forest. The border security was also a lot more intense than a hundred years ago – the wolf was the guilty one for that – but it was not like Peridot didn’t know her way in and out of the place.

She _had_ been hiding her whole life.

Squeezing her way past the sewers, Peridot managed to walk in darkness until she found the familiar loose rock. She just needed to push that out of the way and a tiny cavern that lead to the outside came into view. After that, she just had to walk in a straight line for a few minutes and then go out. It was a really good place to smuggle things in and out of town, and Peridot wondered for a moment if the wolf wasn’t using that cave to sneak past the guards and kidnap the people.

Nah, it couldn’t be that smart.

The outside view wasn’t amazing; first there was a huge field of nothingness, covered by snow. The full moon allowed her to see where she was going, so she was glad for that, at least. Her steps were rushed, but calculated – she knew where the guards were, so she needed to hide her footprints.

As soon as the snowy field ended, the forest began. The trees were incredibly tall, covering up the moonlight and making it very hard to see. Peridot hated the prospect of walking in there in vain, but she needed to try.

If what Ronaldo said was true, maybe that night she could finally find peace.

She took a deep breath and gave the first step. Then she second. Slowly and carefully she walked deeper into the woods, shivering from head to toe – Peridot thought that nothing else would be able to frighten her, but she was wrong. That forest had a terrible aura to it and it felt like a thousand things were watching her every move, waiting for a moment of weakness to attack. She didn’t know why she was so afraid of that, since that was the exact reason she was even there.

Minutes went by and nothing was happening. Peridot was starting to think that her plan was a failure, just like everything else she did, and sighed. She bawled her fists and grit her teeth in anger, and threw her head back.

“Hey, wolf!” Her yell echoed through the trees and her heart picked up the pace. “I’m here! Come and get me!”

Something flew away in the distance, but nothing else happened. Her ears were focused on the tiniest of sounds and she bit her lip again.

“Are you deaf?! I said,” Peridot crouched and made a snowball from the snow around her feet. “Come. And. Get me!” She threw the snowball in a crooked direction, aiming at nothing.

The silence was crushing.

She had never felt so alone in her life.

Not even a blood-thirsty beast wanted her.

No one needed her.

No one had _ever_ needed her.

So why—

_Why wasn’t she allowed to die?_

“Come and get me!” She screamed again, the desperation in her voice clear. “You stupid fucking animal! Get me! I’m right here! I’m here! I’m right—” The tears rolled down her cheeks and she sobbed. “Here…” She had no strength anymore.

Her knees gave out and she sat down, crying in her own arms.

“Someone, please… find me…” She whispered.

That was when something pushed her with an inhuman strength.

Peridot fell with her back on the snow and felt something extremely heavy pressing down on her chest. Once her dizziness dwindled, Peridot opened her eyes and saw the yellow, glowing eyes of a beast staring right into her soul.

The fact that everything had started to hurt was a sign that maybe Ronaldo was right after all.

Its claws were digging into her skin and its mouth was opened slightly, salivating, and showing huge, bright teeth. Pointy years, navy blue fur, bigger than any animal she had ever seen – and perhaps it was twisted of her to think that right under its jaw –, but at that moment, all she could gather was that…

The wolf was breathtakingly beautiful.

Its breath was so close to her throat that Peridot could feel each and every beat of her heart pulsating under the warmth of the animal. Without any other reaction, Peridot closed her eyes.

And smiled.

“Finally…” The word left her mouth in a single breath.

But the wolf didn’t bite down.

Instead, the weight was lifted from her chest slowly and she felt the wolf’s paw moving and shifting to something else. Her eyes were still closed when the beast seemed to remove its body from on top of her and Peridot frowned, confused.

She finally opened her eyes to see what in the world was wrong.

And when she did, the wolf was gone.

And a girl had replaced it.

“Why?” The girl spoke, with a raspy voice.

Peridot had no idea what had happened. She took a while, but eventually sat back up and looked at her, completely lost. She tried to formulate a sentence, but what came out of her mouth was a weak, “Um… what?”

“Why do you want to die?”

Well. That was a question no one had ever asked her.

“I’m… where is the—”

“The wolf?” The girl interrupted, her neutral expression unchanged. Peridot looked at her and just nodded pathetically. The girl didn’t say anything and looked closer, as if studying Peridot’s features. Then she got up, cleaned her pants from the snow and mud, and looked back down at her.

The first rays of sunlight illuminated her face at that moment, and Peridot could finally make out her features.

Blue hair, sharp cheekbones, glowing yellow eyes.

And in a second, everything became painfully clear.

“You’re looking at it.”

Said the wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So those of you who have read my other fic "Never Knows Best" probably noticed that this one is very different. But don't worry, I don't plan on making this depressing forever, it'll have its badass, awesome, mysterious, happy and fluffy (and steamy) moments as well. I hope you liked it, please leave a comment with your thoughts! 
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr if you like at niigoki.tumblr
> 
> See you, 
> 
> \- Nick


	2. Chapter 2

The first snowflakes started to fall at a lazy pace, unevenly. Supposedly, people were able to tell apart the seasons in the rest of the world, but so far up north where the village was located, there was only an eternal Winter to make them company. So the villagers were always ready for a surprise snowfall, that could easily turn into a blizzard in seconds.

But Peridot didn’t register the change in the weather – she was still trying to comprehend the situation in front of her.

The wolf was a girl. She was just an ordinary human, probably put in this state by the same person who had bestowed immortality in her. There were so many questions going through Peridot’s mind at that moment, that she couldn’t speak.

“Now you answer me,” The wolf said and Peridot blinked, still frozen on her spot. The girl rolled her eyes, impatiently. “Why are you here to die?”

A few more snowflakes hit her nose and woke Peridot up from the shock. “I… I’m just really tired. Wait, who— who are you? Why are you—”

“Tired?” She interrupted. Another silent beat and then “Of what?”

The answer was at the tip of Peridot’s tongue, but her mind went blank suddenly. What was this girl’s deal? Did she want the entire run down of all the terrible things that happened in Peridot’s life, right here, in the middle of the woods, with a snowstorm on the way?

For some reason, this made her mad. She didn’t need to tell this girl anything; the only thing she had to do was to kill her, and that was it. With a frown, Peridot opened her mouth. “I—”

Suddenly, the girl turned her head sharply and frowned. Her ears slightly moved on their own, and then she sniffed the air around them. With a heavy stare, she crouched back to Peridot’s side and grabbed her arm, lifting her up. “We shouldn’t stay in the same place for long, come on.”

Peridot felt her body being dragged and her legs moved without much choice. She thought that the girl would take her back to the village, but she just walked deeper into the woods. For some reason, this filled Peridot with fear, and she tried to fight her strong pull. “W-wait, where are going?”

“Just follow me. Stop arguing.”

“I’m not going in there!” It was quite bizarre the way her heart was pumping and every fiber in her body was warning her of the terrible things that would happen if they walked another step. Wasn’t that the whole point, though? If something in the forest was going to kill her, then she should gladly welcome it.

The girl growled from deep within her throat and let Peridot go, turning harshly at her. “Fight your instincts. You’ll have to if you don’t want to die.”

“But I do want to die.” Her words and actions didn’t match, but she was trying to make sense of all of it.

“Not by their hands, you don’t.” As soon as she said that, the huge trees started to move back and forth, like the wind was picking up speed. The snow was now more violent than before, and a chilling air infiltrated Peridot’s lungs and skin, freezing her to the bone. The girl clenched her teeth again and moved her body in front of Peridot’s, as if to protect her of something. The rustle of the leaves was loud enough that any other sound was muted in the background, but Peridot’s eyes caught something moving along the tree trunks. No, it wasn’t something…

It was dozens of things.

Small and extremely quick, sounding like a thousand little teeth clicking and getting closer. She could barely make out their shapes; they ran so fast that everything was blurred.

“ _Shit_ ,” The girl hissed and looked over her shoulder. “Alright, listen. I need to get us out of here. _Both_ of us. So do as I say, and then you can go anywhere you want after that. Do we have a deal?”

Peridot swallowed, but eventually nodded. Whatever those things creeping up on them were, she felt like that dying by their hands wouldn’t be a pleasurable experience.

The girl then got on all fours and breathed deeply. “Get ready to climb on.”

“Climb…?”

Then her body started to shift. It was so fast that Peridot barely saw it happening, but she did witness the blue fur growing around the girl’s body out of nowhere, her hands and feet becoming paws, and her face stretching into a snout. The wolf then looked at her and growled, nodding its head up to sign her that she could get on its back.

And Peridot did as fast as she could, because one of the small creatures suddenly jumped out of the trees and landed on her feet. It was disgustingly deformed, like a bloodied black rat whose flesh had been hammered with teeth all over it. It tried to bite her, but Peridot yelled and kicked it. To no avail, however; her boot just passed right through the thing’s body as if it was made of smoke.

The wolf then jumped and started to run. Peridot almost fell immediately, but clutched to the fur desperately – she knew that those things were right behind them and shivered at the thought of being torn apart and eaten alive by tiny little sharp teeth.

That was the first time in years that she felt this level of fear.

Hanging onto the wolf was hard, especially when it decided to turn and jump and run faster than before. Peridot felt like they were flying; that amount of speed was insane. She couldn’t even see the path they were taking, but she held on for a long time. The blizzard was endless, and the forest infinite, and she could hear the squeaking noises of the little abominations behind them, trailing their every move.

Her fingers were freezing by that point, but she didn’t dare letting go. The snow hit her face harshly, but didn’t sting. If that was because of her curse or just because her skin was already frozen, she couldn’t tell.

Going right, then left, jumping up and down, crossing a bridge, then a creek, then left again – Peridot gave up trying to remember her way back. There was one thing she was certain by now: she was going to be stuck in that forest forever if this girl decided to refuse to bring her back to the village.

After a tortuous amount of time, the storm weakened little by little, until it stopped completely. The teeth-rats’ noises died down as well, and the wolf ran a bit more until it was certain that the things weren’t behind them anymore. Slowly, they came to a halt and the wolf collapsed on a nearby spot. Peridot was still grabbing onto the fur with every fiber of her being, and she could feel the wolf’s body moving up and down as it heaved, tiredly. Its heart was beating strongly against Peridot’s chest, and she almost thought that the sound was soothing.

With an annoyed growl, the wolf shook its body until Peridot fell on her butt.

“Ouch,” She complained, rubbing the spot. “Could’ve just told me to get off.”

The wolf snorted and turned its back to her, catching its breath. Peridot tried to get up, but her legs and arms felt like jelly. She collapsed again on the snow and sighed, still a shivering mess. With both girls too tired to do anything else, a cold silence settled between them.

At last, the girl changed back into a human, still sitting with her back against a tree. Her breathing was regular again and she knocked her head back against the trunk. “You okay?”

The voice startled her, but Peridot just nodded. “Yeah.” Then a pause. “What were those things?”

“Curses.” Was all she answered, ruffling her blue hair. “Things you shouldn’t mess with.”

Peridot’s heart leaped a beat. “Curses? Like… a sorceress’ curse?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Oh,” The questions forgotten were now resurfacing, and Peridot wanted to flood this girl with them. Maybe she had all the answers she was looking for; maybe she knew who the woman in her dreams was, maybe she knew what revenge she was talking about, maybe she had been cursed by the same sorceress, maybe— there were so many things she needed this girl to tell her. But what left Peridot’s lips was, “What’s your name?”

The question surprised both of them. The girl didn’t reply right away, just stared right at Peridot with her yellow eyes; the way she did that was a bit unsettling, like she was peeling off all the layers of her emotions one by one, until nothing was left but a raw version of this immortal street rat.

“Lapis.” The girl said, finally. “What’s yours?”

“Peridot.” Then she frowned; Lapis? She’d heard that name before, a long time ago. But who…?

“Well, Peridot.” It felt weird hearing her own name being said by someone after a century. Lapis got up and walked towards a huge leaf covering their path. “I hope you like soup.”

The statement was weird on its own, but when Lapis moved the leaf out of the way, Peridot gaped.

Right behind a simple leaf, there was a path down a hill.

And down the hill, an entire village.

 

\---

 

It was a surreal experience, seeing new people and new houses and just being in a completely new environment. Peridot was certain that she would spend the rest of her infinite existence seeing the same families and architecture, with slight changes, but ultimately remaining the same. Leaving the village had never been in the plans, and that was one of the biggest incentives to find something that would end her life. Watching a cycle repeating itself over and over again was exhausting.

Peridot dumbly followed Lapis into the village, her heart beating in anticipation; for what, she didn’t know. She’d been so numb for all this time; such strong emotions were triggering new sensations all over her body.

As soon as set foot into the place, lots of eyes turned to her. They were people going by their day, some holding a sack of bread, others some fabrics; most of them were simply making their way to somewhere else.

“Lapis is back!” A little boy shouted out loud and ran towards them, and other people nearby started making their way to the girl. Lapis smiled for the first time since their meeting and ruffled his hair.

“Hey, Steven.”

“Hey,” The kid was chubby and cheerful, and immediately took an interest in Peridot. “You brought someone today!”

Peridot felt the crowd closing in on them and her stomach felt weird. She never had this much attention drawn to her before, so she stepped back, trying to find an escape route. There was nowhere to go, however; she was in an unknow place. And Peridot found out soon enough that she absolutely hated the unknow.

She couldn’t help it; she was used to familiarity.

“Who’s that, Lapis?”

“Is she… you know…?”

“She looks hungry. Should I make her some food?”

Their curiosity was suffocating and Peridot wanted to disappear from their sight.

“Alright, everyone, back off a little bit.” Lapis once again stepped up in between Peridot and danger; that was the second time that day. “This is Peridot, she’ll introduce herself soon enough. We had a rough time in the woods, so we’re going to rest.”

The people’s cheerful faces became a tad disappointed, but they understood. So they bid them goodbye and walked away, returning to their daily activities; except for Steven, who remained by their side.

“Did something happen? Are you okay?” He asked Lapis, worried.

“We’re fine. Just got chased by some Curses, but got away.” Peridot noticed that Lapis used her regular tone with the boy, not the fake cheerful speech in which she regarded everyone else. Perhaps he was an important member of the village, or something. If Peridot wasn’t so tired, she’d try to understand her new surroundings better. Lapis looked back at her. “Come on, I’ll take you somewhere to rest.”

“I’m fine.” It was an obvious lie, but trust didn’t come easy with her. It was a word that she had thrown away from her vocabulary after what she’d been through.

“I want to talk to you,” Lapis responded in a lower volume. Now, talking she could manage. Nodding, she approached them again and Lapis bid Steven goodbye.

As they made their way deeper into the village, Peridot scanned the place with an eagle eye. The houses were simple, and looked a lot like the architecture back at her own town – from a hundred years ago. It was like they were frozen in time, but without the decaying air to it. She managed to spot the usual: the market, a few churches, even a place for kids to play. Nothing big and sophisticated, but enough to make a living. What caught her eye the most, however, were the people on the streets.

They were mostly women and children.

Peridot had yet to see an adult man roaming around, which was unsettling for her. Her home village was crawling with bearded, muscly men who spat on the streets and cursed their life away, just like the tavern where she lived. So walking around in such quietness was incredibly peaceful. Peridot almost felt like this wasn’t so bad. But she couldn’t take anything for granted.

They finally arrived at big household and Lapis held the door open for her. “In here.”

Peridot walked in and stopped on her tracks. That place was cleaner than anything she’d ever seen.

The wooden walls were polished, with small windows adoring them all around. The early sunrise crept into the room, illuminating the floor and walls. There weren’t any beds in the room, simply a round table in the center with pillows for guests to sit on. There were also various drawings pinned across a corridor in the back; Peridot couldn’t see what was at the end of it.

Lapis closed the door calmly. “Take off your shoes and sit.”

Peridot realized she was still wearing the clothes she grabbed in a rush the day before. They were mostly torn, but managed to warm her up pretty well. Her boots were dirty with mud and she didn’t want to ruin the place by stepping on the clean floor, so she obeyed. Soon, she was sitting down on one of the pillows, with Lapis facing her at the other side. She sighed, and Peridot could see the gears in her head turning, trying to start the conversation.

“Are you hungry?” Was the first thing Lapis asked her.

“No,” Peridot answered, not in the mood for triviality. “I don’t really need to eat.”

“Hm.” Lapis grabbed a notebook from under the table and opened it, scribbling something with a pen. “Not thirsty either, then.”

“No.”

“Did you get hurt anywhere?”

“I… don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”

Lapis kept writing with each question, and Peridot frowned. She felt like a test subject, being observed and questioned, and she was too tired for this. “Look, can you get to the point?”

The pen stopped moving and Lapis shot her a stare. She put it down then, closing the notebook and folding her hands on her lap. Peridot noticed that she sat strangely; probably the side-effects of being turned into a wolf for so long. “Alright. What’s your curse, then?”

The question was pretty straightforward, but it still took Peridot a while to respond. “So you do know I’m cursed.”

Lapis frowned. “Isn’t that why you came to me?”

“Well… I suppose.” There was something weird with the conversation, almost as if Lapis was expecting something from her that wasn’t quite the truth. “I came to the wolf because I needed it to kill me. That’s all I had in mind.”

“And I asked you why, but you still haven’t answered me.”

“I told you. I’m tired.”

“That’s not an answer, Peridot.” Lapis seemed to genuinely want to know and worry about her, which was something Peridot couldn’t understand. She just needed to _kill her_. There was no need for all of these questions. It was _simple_.

“Why do I have to answer you?” She raised her voice, all of her suppressed emotions so far tumbling down her tongue. “I wouldn’t even be sitting here right now if you had just torn apart my throat like you were supposed to!”

“I am not a beast!” Lapis yelled back, one hand on the table and teeth bared. She had really sharp canines for a person, Peridot noticed, before sitting back down. The room was quiet for a few seconds and Lapis was heaving again, like she was trying to maintain herself under control. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s… okay.” It was strange, but Peridot felt guilty for saying that. She hardly took other people’s feelings into consideration, but calling this girl a senseless monster right after she saved her from actual monsters was brutal. “I know you’re not. A beast, I mean.”

Both girls sighed, too awkward to keep going. They weren’t so different, Peridot thought. She didn’t know Lapis’ story, but sitting in front of her like this almost felt like a mirror image; two broken people who were really tired.

“I’m immortal.” Peridot spoke suddenly. “That’s my curse.”

Lapis looked back at her with softer eyes. “Oh. I see.” She scratched the back of her head. “We have that in common, then.”

It was pointless to keep arguing, so if Peridot was going to sit there the whole day, she might as well get some answers. “You are the wolf from the legends, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So… what happened? Do you really go around kidnapping people from our village? Is here the place you take them?”

“Why should I answer you?” Lapis _smirked_. “We wouldn’t even be sitting here right now if I had just torn apart your throat like I was supposed to, right?”

Peridot blinked at her words and expression; Lapis was being _cheeky_. Peridot knew sarcasm and irony when they were thrown at her – after all she had spent a good part of her life dealing with information brokers and thieves. This was her territory for long time, but living with Fryman had changed this. The man was just too honest for his own good.

Something lit up inside her and she returned the expression with a broken smirk of her own. “Yeah, well, since you failed at your job, now you’re stuck with answering my questions too.”

The way Lapis breathed out a soft chuckle was magical for some reason. “We’ll do it this way then. I answer all of yours, then you answer mine.”

“Yours being?”

“The real reason you want to die.”

Peridot hesitated, but eventually agreed. “Deal.”

Lapis shifted on her seat. “I am the wolf, but I don’t kidnap anyone. That’s one of the made-up parts of your fairytale.”

“Then…?”

“You’ve lived long enough. If someone told you that there was a better life waiting for you outside the borders, wouldn’t you take the chance?”

Peridot didn’t need to think for this one. The kind of people making a life in the town was enough to disgust her. Corrupt, disrespectful, abusive ogres, all of them. It was a place where men ruled and women were lucky enough to get beaten just once a week.

The reason she never left was because she didn’t know there was something else out there.

 “Of course I would. A century is too long to go on living, especially in a place like that.”

“The women and children that keep disappearing in your village weren’t kidnapped. They left on their own.” Lapis bent over to grab a few pieces of paper, and Peridot realized they were letters; lots of them. “I send these to cursed people around your village, and they come to me eventually.”

Peridot took one of them and read its contents. The letter was simple and to the point, written by hand. Under the writing was a map as well.

 

_This letter will self-combust in ten minutes. If you show it to someone, it will disappear immediately._

_If you are looking for answers regarding the curse that was recently cast upon you, memorize this map and meet me outside the woods as soon as the sun starts to rise. If you have a child, you are welcomed to bring them along with you._

_There is a better life outside the borders. A life where your curse isn’t treated as an abomination, but as something that is not under your control. You are not at fault, and we will welcome you._

_Think carefully. If you decide to come, place the fur on your bed. You know the tale._

_Blame it on the wolf._

 

Peridot’s chest tightened as she read it, and when she was done, there was a sour taste in her mouth. “You send these to cursed people? So there are more of them? I’m not— I’m not the only one?”

“Everyone currently living here is cursed.” Lapis looked down at the letters. “When you came to me at sunrise, I thought you had received this letter as well. But you had no idea what was happening. You just wanted to be killed by the wolf.”

“Why didn’t I receive it?” There was an anger boiling inside of her after this new information. “I’ve been miserable for a _hundred years_ and you’re telling me you had the answers all along?”

“I don’t know why.” Lapis tried to keep her voice as calm as possible. “I’m not the one who delivers them personally. The owls do.”

“Owls?” Peridot remembered seeing an increase of owls in the town as the years went by, but she never thought much of it.

“All the owls in your village aren’t there on accident. They are able to tell apart cursed people from normal ones. I just give them the letters, and they place it on the houses.” Lapis knew that this next sentence would be a blow, but she said it anyway. “I don’t know why they didn’t see you.”

All of that sounded like a joke, but funnily enough, Peridot believed it. Of course they didn’t see her. It was just how her life worked; whenever she thought things were bad, they always had a way of getting worse. Peridot wasn’t only cursed – she was also invisible to the eyes of the people who could save her. Everyone else had received a magical letter from a miracle owl that allowed their lives to be a little less miserable, except for Peridot.

Peridot needed to suffer.

She laughed. “So I had to live in the dark for all this time…” And shook her head, still smiling like a broken soul. “And you’re still wondering why I want to die?”

Lapis didn’t have words for that. She grabbed the letters again and put them away slowly. “I’m sorry for that.”

Her words were empty, and Peridot just felt defeated.

Lapis bit her lip. “Do you still want to talk? There is one more thing I need to tell you.”

“Sure,” Her voice was flat. “Go on.”

“Alright,” Lapis sighed. The sun had moved up in the sky, changing the room’s illumination quite a bit. It was still calming, but the overall mood was heavy with pain. “Before turning into this, I was a normal girl who grew up in your village. My family was famous for Witch Hunting. My father and grandfather forged weapons that were able to kill witches and sorceresses.”

Peridot blinked, widening her eyes.

“One day, dad murdered a sorcerer that was terrorizing the town. We called her Pink, because of the pink veil she used. The crowd went wild, and showered us with praises and money.”

Witch Hunters.

“What we didn’t know at the time was that Pink wasn’t alone. She had three sisters who swore to bring our family misery. We called them Blue, Yellow and White. And because of dad’s actions, our family was ruined.”

A woman in a blue veil.

“I was eighteen when Blue, White and Yellow casted three curses on me. Blue turned me into a wolf, Yellow made me immortal, and White…” Lapis looked away, shaking her head. “What she did doesn’t matter. All that it matters is that I had no control over myself the first time I turned.”

Three sisters.

“When I woke up again, my entire family was nothing but corpses at my feet. My mouth tasted like blood, and my clothes were torn. I killed them all.”

Peridot squinted her eyes, remembering what it had felt like to wake up with the knife in her hands and the fruit stand owner dead in front of her.

“But that’s not important,” Lapis’ mouth was dry; she never told this story to anyone else but Steven, but she felt like she owned Peridot at least that.

Especially after what she was about to tell her next.

“What matters is that Blue, Yellow and White didn’t stop at me. They got their revenge on my family, but they still want to destroy the village from the inside out.” She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “Because of what my father did, people are still being cursed to this day.”

Lapis opened her eyes and Peridot was looking right at her.

“My name is Lapis Lazuli,” She said, her voice and body shaking with disgust and guilt. “And I’m the reason you’re immortal.”

The atmosphere was so fragile at that moment, that a needle was enough to break it.

Both girls faced each other for a long, tortuous time.

And after that, Peridot talked.

“Well, you wanted an answer,” Then she got up. “My name is Peridot. And you’re the reason I want to die.”

Then she turned around, opened the door, and slammed it shut after leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter should've been called "Exposition: Part I" 
> 
> i feel like i am really bad at exposition jfc, but this is a convoluted story that needs a bit of explanation before we go deeper, so I hope some things made sense. I'll explain more and more as we go, but for now, thank you for reading! Your comments are greatly appreciated, as well as your feedback on how I could improve. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!! My life is a lot less busy now, I'm so sorry for the wait. I have more time to write nowadays, so I promise the next chapter won't take as long. Enjoy!

“Hey, careful, you’re gonna fall!” Greg got up, leaving his tiny garden to help his son balance himself on the roof of their simple home.

“It’s okay dad, I’ve been practicing. Look!” Steven spread both his arms and lifted one leg, looking up. His body shook a little, but eventually he managed to achieve a perfect form, balancing himself on one foot. “See?”

“That’s impressive,” Greg smiled crookedly, still nearby in case he accidentally fell. “What exactly are you doing again?”

“Lapis told me that warriors need to be strong, have good reflexes, and be able to balance themselves in battle. Since I’m not that strong or quick, I thought that balance would be a good one to try and follow!” He answered with a smile and a wobble.

“I don’t think that’s the kind of balance she was talking about, little man.” Greg laughed in return and put his arms up. “Come back down, please?”

Steven finally obeyed and jumped into his father’s arms, laughing. When Greg settled him back on the ground, he ruffled his hair and returned to his garden. “So, about this whole… ‘becoming a warrior’ thing…”

“Come on dad, we talked about this.” Steven moved to his father’s side and sat down, watching him work. “Lapis is going to need me out there. I promise I’ll stay safe.”

“Still, if I could just go with you…”

“You know you can’t,” Steven averted his eyes, sighing on the inside. “You need to stay here and take care of everyone once we’re gone. People trust you around here.”

“Yeah… I suppose,” Greg’s voice always faltered when they talked about this, and Steven hated to be the one making his dad worry. Still, it’s not like it could be helped; he had an important mission that would most likely save everyone’s lives. There wasn’t a choice in the matter.

Steven was about to continue the conversation when his eyes caught the new girl going somewhere. Peridot was her name? She seemed to be distressed and Lapis was nowhere to be seen, so Steven got up, his instincts telling him to talk to her. “I’ll be right back, dad.”

Approaching the girl, Steven noticed her strong and quick steps and slouched back. She was very short in stature, her blonde hair disheveled as if it hadn’t been brushed in ages, and her pale skin full of dark bruises. Steven’s chest constricted in worry – that girl seemed to have gone through a lot.

“Hey! Peridot!” Steven yelled and the girl flinched, looking back at him. “Hi! Sorry to disturb you, but you looked a little lost.”

“I’m fine.” Peridot grunted, and started walking again. She was not in the mood to baby a child, specially a cheerful one like that boy. Her head was a mess and she wanted to punch something until feeling her hands break apart, and if Steven didn’t leave her alone, he would probably be her target for said punches.

“Well… let me be your guide regardless. I’m Steven! Steven Universe.” His smile was honest and annoying.

“Didn’t ask.”

“Aww, come on. I’m sure we can be friends,” He wasn’t going to let her off the hook, was he? “The whole village is really nice if you give it a chance!”

Peridot growled lowly, walking faster. Steven picked up his pace, and even with his short stubby legs, he was quite fast. “Look, just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Well… I can’t do that unless you promise to not leave.”

“Why? I never asked to be here. That _beast_ ,” Despite her anger, Peridot felt a tad guilty calling Lapis that. “Brought me here without my consent.”

That’s when Steven stepped in front of her, making Peridot almost crash into him. That forced her to stop and she was about to push him out of the way, when she saw his expression. His smile was gone and he stared at her with serious eyes. “Don’t call her that.”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, then Peridot averted her eyes, grunting. “…Whatever.”

“Lapis saved my life. Our lives. I won’t let you badmouth her like that.” Steven took a step forward, making Peridot backup. “Didn’t she save your life as well?”

“Yes. She did.” She looked back at the boy, hovering over him and almost spitting in his face. “That’s exactly why I hate her.”

“What…?”

“She was supposed to _kill_ me, not save me.”

Steven blinked, extremely confused. He opened his mouth once, then twice, but closed it at last, speechless. In all those years he’s been there, no one had been this hostile towards Lapis. People saw her as everyone’s savior; they practically worshiped her. Whenever Lapis came out of her house, there was always someone outside with a gift for her. She was the kindest and most selfless person Steven has ever met, and watching someone get angry at her made his heart ache.

“I don’t understand…” The poor boy was lost and Peridot rolled her eyes, walking past him again.

“Didn’t expect you to.”

This time he stood rooted in place, disheartened at the new girl. When he was about to give up, something clicked in his brain and he tried one last attempt, loudly. “Want to know what my curse is?”

Peridot stopped. She didn’t turn around, but Steven could feel that he’d gotten through to her. Confident again, he walked past her, grabbing her sleeve. “Follow me.”

She grunted the whole way, but followed.

\--

One of the borders of the village led to a cliff, thousands of feet above the ground. Underneath it, the endless forest seemed to continue – either that or the fog was green. Peridot heaved as she sat down next to Steven at the edge of the cliff; the climb was pretty long and she wasn’t exactly in top shape.

“You good?” Steven asked with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Peachy.” Peridot had learned to take that question as ironic. Anyone who looked at her could tell that ‘good’ was the last thing she would ever be.

“Hang in there.” With a comfortable sigh, Steven rocked his little feet back and forth, looking down at the miles and miles of trees. “I love the view from here.”

Finally regaining her breath, Peridot stared down and wondered if a fall that big would perhaps do the trick. The thought vanished as soon as it came, though – of course it wouldn’t. She rolled her eyes at the kid’s optimism. “Why is that?”

“It makes me feel like the world is much bigger than I thought,” Steven’s eyes became melancholic. “When I lived back at the village, I thought that there was nothing else out there. Didn’t you?”

The answer was yes, but she just shrugged.

“Then Lapis came along and expanded my little world.” Steven continued. “She was the one who first brought me to this cliff, too. I was terrified of it at first. Realizing that there is so much out there was scary.”

“There is _too_ much out there.” Peridot retorted bitterly. She thought about the Blue Sorceress and how she came from beyond the borders of the village. If it wasn’t for whatever was out there, Peridot would’ve been able to cease her suffering a long time ago. The fact that her salvation had also been waiting for her out there for a long time, but without ever contacting her, made her even angrier.

“Well… that’s one way to see it, I guess.” Steven pondered, a hand on his chin. “Every time someone new comes along, people get excited to meet them. Sometimes it’s a friend they knew. Most times it’s just a stranger full of hope for a new, good life.”

“Did you drag me out here to give me a lecture on why I should put your precious little utopia on a pedestal?” Peridot was tired and frustrated, and this child wasn’t helping her calm her nerves.

“N-no, no!” Steven stuttered, blushing. “I’m sorry. I will tell you about my curse.” He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. “My curse comes from my touch. Everything these hands touch… die.”

In a split second, Peridot widened her eyes, grabbed Steven’s wrists, and brought his hands to her chest. The kid blinked, surprised, and tried to pull them back. When nothing happened, Peridot frowned. “Is there a time limit, or something?”

“W-what? No, it doesn’t work on people. J-just animals and plants.” Steven was visibly scared by the way she had reacted, then he remembered what she’d said earlier about wanting Lapis to kill her. “You… you really meant it when you said you were angry that Lapis saved your life, huh?”

Peridot sighed, releasing Steven’s wrists. “Do I really look like I’m kidding?”

“Not at all…” An awkward silence settled in between them and Steven fidgeted. He opened his mouth, but thought about it and didn’t say anything.

With another exasperate sigh, Peridot mumbled. “Go ahead. Ask.”

“What is your curse, Peridot?”

For some reason, her body felt extremely tired all of a sudden. Explaining things to Lapis was already exhausting enough, now she had to do it again. Peridot didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to live with it – but she didn’t have a choice on that matter.

“Life is my curse.” She said simply, letting herself fall backwards and hitting the dirt. The sky was clean, with no trace of another incoming snowstorm and Peridot closed her eyes to feel the air around her. “I’ve lived for a hundred years and I’m not allowed to die. That’s what the sorceress did to me.”

“Which one?”

“Huh?”

“Which sorceress? Blue, Yellow?” Steven swallowed. “White?”

Peridot didn’t understand the relevance of this question, but if the kid had brought it up then he probably knew something she didn’t. “It was a woman covered by a blue veil, so I suppose it was Blue.”

“Oh, good.” He seemed relieved and Peridot sat back up, staring angrily at him. “I m-mean, at least it wasn’t White! She is the most ruthless of them all.”

An avalanche of anger washed over Peridot and she grit her teeth.

“So making me wander pointlessly through life was the _best option_?” She could hardly believe what that kid was saying. He had no idea what she’d been through – he couldn’t even _fathom_ the pain and despair she’d felt for all those years, and now he was saying that it could’ve been _worse_? “Forcing me to wake up every day and see the worst humanity has to offer was a blessing? Is that what you’re saying?!”

With each word she crawled closer and Steven looked down from the cliff, almost losing his balance; he had to think quickly or else this clearly emotionally unstable girl would make them both fall. The difference is that Steven would not survive. “I’m just saying that she’s the easiest one to kill!”

The silence after that was jarring and he covered his mouth with both hands. Peridot froze on her spot, staring at him with confused eyes. “What?”

“N-nothing, forget I said any—”

With a quick move she grabbed him by the collar and pushed him off the edge. The only thing stopping Steven from a thousand feet fall was the trembling hand of an angry girl. “Speak.”

“O-okay, okay!” He held onto her with every fiber of his being, heart pounding on his chest. “Lapis has this idea of f-forming an army and going after the Sorceresses! S-she was recruiting people from the village. She has this diary f-from her dad, a Witch Hunter, and there are lots of information about how to kill mythical creatures in there! Lapis said that killing the sorceress who cursed you would free you from the curse. S-so in your case, killing Blue!”

That was a lot to process and Peridot almost let Steven fall. He yelled, grabbing her attention again and she pulled him back to the safety of the ground. Steven panted, still a trembling mess, and looked up at the girl. Peridot’s eyes were unfocused, as if her brain was working a thousand miles per hour; plans, ideas, and maybe a tiny bit of hope crossed her mind, and she bit her lip. Ultimately, she knew what she wanted to do with this information, and finally got up, leaving Steven behind.

“Wait!” He tried to get up, but his trembling legs wouldn’t let him. His body was still processing the shock of almost dying and was not responding correctly. “Peridot!”

But it was useless. It didn’t take long for her to be out of his sight, and Steven took a deep breath. “…Way to go, warrior.”

\--

Despite the curious eyes following her every step, Peridot forced herself to ignore the growing paranoia in her mind and focus on getting to her destination. There was a driving force guiding her for the first time in her life, and she wasn’t about to let it slip. She finally had a chance to end this miserable existence of hers, and she was going to make damn sure that it was not wasted.

Arriving at Lapis’ house, she opened the door without knocking. The blue-haired girl was sitting at the same exact position she was on when Peridot left, and looked up from the book she was reading.

“Peridot,” She looked surprised to see her back so soon after her outburst. “I thought you left.”

“I—” Her throat was really dry and she felt a bit awkward suddenly. It felt like the last words they had exchanged were still hanging around them, and for some reason this didn’t settle down nicely with Peridot. She pushed the feeling away, concentrating on her purpose. “I was going to. Then this boy made me stay.”

“Steven?” Lapis blinked.

“Yes.” Peridot closed the door behind her. “He told me about your army.”

Lapis’ eyes widened then, but before she could say anything, Peridot interjected.

“I want in.”

And she waited for the convoluted argument that she was sure was going to follow her sentence. First, Lapis would stare at her broken, skinny body from head to toe and probably laugh at how pathetic her physical condition was. Then Peridot would yell at her some guilt-tripping excuse like ‘you did this to me, you own me.’, followed by Lapis’ denial, and ultimately, her begrudgingly acceptance. The scenario was clear in her head.

But what happened instead was:

“Okay.”

Peridot blinked, surprised. “…Okay?”

Lapis closed her book and got up with a sigh. She took her time putting it back on the top shelf of her bookcase, then turned around, walking towards her. There was something inherently intimidating about the wolf, Peridot noticed. Her legs trembled suddenly, but she refused to back down from her decision.

Lapis stopped nearly nose-to-nose with her, the gleam of a challenge in her yellow, glowing eyes. “Okay.”

Her breath was warm against Peridot’s lips and she swallowed, still not breaking contact. “Okay.”

They stood there for a couple of seconds before Lapis broke the hypnotizing gaze, turning around. Then out of nowhere, she turned back, pouncing on her.

Peridot grunted with the sudden weight on her chest as she fell back and hit her head on the floor. It hurt, and she was caught off guard by how heavy Lapis was – it was the weight of the wolf, but inside a human body. “What the hell??”

“There are things a lot quicker than me out there.” Lapis’ voice was low and husky, and a predatory aura enveloped her body. “Tiny, almost imperceptible at night. Sharp teeth that will puncture your flesh like it’s foam.”

“Don’t…” Peridot’s lungs were squished and she struggled to speak. “Don’t care.”

“They’re all curses. Meaning they will be able to kill you.”

“So far I don’t see a downside to this.”

“Do you want to die pathetically by the hands of cursed rodents, or do you want to get your revenge on the one who did this to you?”

The question floated in the air for a long time, the hesitation clear. Finally, Peridot spoke, grabbing one of Lapis’ arms. “I’ll kill Blue myself.” Then the other. “And then I’ll throw myself out of that goddamn cliff.” She had never said anything with such conviction before.

Apparently convinced, Lapis finally got up, pulling Peridot with her. The blonde coughed and inhaled deeply, dizzy from the rough fall. She looked at Lapis, who crouched behind her table to grab something; she emerged with a piece of blue fabric and threw it to Peridot, who caught it in the air.

“Welcome to the army, warrior.”

Peridot stared at the fabric and almost laughed. “Blue because of your hair?”

“Blue because that’s who you’re gonna kill.”

That’s when Peridot smirked, earning the same from the wolf in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments! They are always inspiring and help me keep going. See you!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Aurora (Niigoki) Part 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972407) by [Garnet_Is_Savage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garnet_Is_Savage/pseuds/Garnet_Is_Savage), [niigoki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki)




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